We were all drinking at Marge's one night
When an old cowboy came through the door
He took a few shaky steps
Then he started to moan
And he keeled over right on the floor
Doc came on over, took his stethoscope out
He listened and he looked in his eyes
He said, "boys stick around
I just might need your help
I'm afraid this will be a long night"

Cause there's a five gallon tear, a five gallon tear
Lodged in this poor boy's heart
By the look in his eyes he ain't cried in years
And he's reatining a five gallon tear

Doc wrote a prescription to induce him to cry
It was whiskey and sad country songs
We propped him up in a booth
And poured a drink down his throat
Then we turned that old wurlitzer on
Well he spluttered and he coughed
And he hung down his head
As those lonely songs worked on his heart
When the memories started coming six minutes apart
We laid him face-up on the bar

And then a five gallon tear, a five gallon tear
Slowly welled up in his eyes
We all yelled, "push!" and we all gave a cheer
When he cried that five gallon tear

That jar by the door don't hold pig feet no more
The contents are sparkling clear
That liquid within is not moonshine or gin
It's a reminder to everyone here

Yeah, it's a five gallon tear, a five gallon tear
Let this be a lesson to you
Keep your sorrow inside for too many years
And you'll cry that five gallon tear

Buddy you'll cry
You'll cry a five gallon tear

Yeah, it's a five gallon tear, a five gallon tear
Let this be a lesson to you
Keep your sorrow inside for too many years
And you'll cry that five gallon tear
...