I hollered "hey honey, I'm home" like I do every day at four
But the TV ain't on and the car is gone, she must be at the store
Then I spied this piece of paper it looked like a list of things to do
But when I got down to number six I realized we were through

The plumber couldn't make it today, I've decided that I'm going away
The dog's at the vet the hearing is set
Do you see what I'm trying to say
Don't forget to take out the trash, I'm sorry but I'm not coming back
Now you can't sugar coat what she really wrote
Ain't that a hell of a note

I just stood there and scratched my head, my chin dropped to the floor
Not even a tear after all these years, I expected a little bit more
I was countin' on grabbin' a good, cold beer
Stretchin' out on the couch
But she went by the numbers and I got counted out

The plumber couldn't make it today, I've decided that I'm going away
The dog's at the vet the hearing is set
Do you see what I'm trying to say
Don't forget to take out the trash, I'm sorry but I'm not coming back
Now you can't sugar coat what she really wrote
Ain't that a hell of a note
Lordy, ain't that a hell of a note